Time
Time…there is never enough of it. I have a lot of things on my to-do list at the moment, but I’m having trouble focusing. Tonight I decided that some decluttering around the house and especially my sewing room would help. I went solid for an hour and then decided that I need professional help (not mental help but in the form of a professional organizer…maybe mental help for the fabric hoarding). So I spent five minutes Googling professional organizers in Dallas and then an ad for fabric caught my eye on the edge of the browser window. Click. Drool. Click. Click. Click. I spent thirty minutes browsing the sale section at one of my favorite online fabric shops. Moral of this story? The internet is evil.
Focus is actually my one little word for 2013 and so far it has motivated me to stop spending so much time doing nothing. 2012 was consumed by new baby things and as all mothers know, it is overwhelming to be responsible for a tiny and precious and delicate thing. Leaving the corporate world also had a huge impact on me. I felt untethered and the freedom of it was both exhilarating and a little bit frightening. Honestly, now I laugh with pure, unadulterated joy when I drive by the old office where I used to work. It’s a crazy laugh like a child hopped up on birthday cake who just opened a Malibu Barbie dream house.
I spent most of 2012 feeling adrift, not quite sure what to do with my new-found freedom and my new baby responsibility. So I did a lot of nothing. I didn’t sew very much, I didn’t blog very much. I watched TV and shopped and did so much nothing that I was just sick with boredom. After Ben turned one and was weaned, I got a little breather and I realized that I could do a lot of wonderful things instead of so much nothing. So I did.
People ask me a lot how I find the time or the energy to do all of the different things that I do. The truth is, we all have the same amount of time. I’ve made a decision to not waste mine so that means I rarely do things like watching TV. I don’t go to parties or events out of a sense of obligation. My time is mine and there is not a lot of it, so I only do things that make me happy. I’m selfish with it.. I spend as little time as possible doing the chores and tasks that have to be done to run a household. Even though I love to cook, I don’t love having to cook to feed people so I cook and freeze four or six weeks worth of food at a time. Every time I defrost a casserole or pasta sauce, it’s like a little gift to myself. Bills are on autopay, my husband does 90% of the laundry and a hefty share of childcare, and things do slip through the cracks. Our house is not as clean as my Aunt Irma’s where you could literally eat off the floor (cause she just mopped it) but I’m okay with that.
In this season of my life, I am being selfish as much as possible and I think more young moms should try it. You only get one shot at life so build a life that makes you happy.
